Discipline — You Won’t Find it Here.

Discipline.  I suck at it.

I know I need to set aside time to write, and not just here in the blog.  I really need to make some progress on the children’s book I’m trying to write.  And by ‘trying,’ I mean that I have the resources and I have the material, but I just don’t have that crucial First Step.  You know the one, right — the single step that starts the journey of a thousand miles? Yeah, that.  I’m still at the gate.

I’m all start and no finish.  All show and no go.  All worry and no decision.

I have that ‘excuse thing’ down: I’m tired; I just don’t feel like writing; no time; too noisy to concentrate; don’t have any ideas; have too many other things going on; blah, blah, blah.  You know the routine.  I’ll confess that I procrastinate — later.  But for now, I am just putting it out there.  If there’s one thing I shoulda/woulda/coulda change(d), it’s my self-starter.  I think it’s gone out.

Really, that’s the main reason I joined RCC; I need to be nagged and prodded and kicked and encouraged and cajoled and bribed and dared.  My self-motivation at work is great, but once I get home, it somehow eludes me.  Anyone else have that problem?

I can sit down after dinner and write a post or two, but all the little edits and rewordings and such piss away my evening, and that’s as far as I get.  On weekends I feel guilty sitting at the computer, especially when it’s nice out.  Of course, the guilt doesn’t stop me from hanging out on Facebook to play Scrabble, or reading the news from several sources, or browsing through any of a number of sites…I just don’t channel my energy in the right direction.

So I don’t expect this motivation paralysis to be easily cured, but I’m hoping it will improve.  I seem to do better for a bit, and then slack back off.  When I read the posts from the other RCC members and get all enthusiastic about my own progress, that lasts, oh, about long enough for me to open up a blank document.  And then, zilch.  I still use my notebook to write my ideas in, but I haven’t had many entries lately.  Another thing for my ‘to do’ list, I guess.

Well, enough whining.  I have work to do.  Wish me luck!  TTFN!

 

photo credit: Grotuk

 

6 thoughts on “Discipline — You Won’t Find it Here.”

  1. Good luck!!! Yeah I find that very hard for writing too. Drawing on the other hand has been easier, I’ve just been copying other people, teaching myself, lol. You can do it though, I know you can! 🙂

  2. Ta-Ta- For-Now !!! another good post! Love them, Beck! <3
    Now tell us about the children's book! I've often wanted to do the same, myself! –~Love you! ~~ Terry

    1. Thanks, Terry. I’ve had an idea kicking around in my head for a while for a book. It grew from a dream I had. I have some stuff written down, but I have never done anything with it. So that’s what I want to do. 😉

  3. This is a great post!! If writing wasn’t my therapy and the only way I stay out of trouble with my addiction I would most likely be in the same boat! The fact that you know it can be a problem is half the battle. Keep up the good work and stay strong! The RCC is here for you! 🙂

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